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baaing_treeWelcome to Plurality!
Dear (insert name here),
So you have discovered you are a multiple/soulbonder/plural/median/otherw
ise renting out your mental real estate! Congratulations! Have a complimentary winged toaster! We are very glad to have you join our ranks. Having voices in your head, you see, is a bit of a difficult past-time to discuss with others, so the more like us, the better! Remember, it is only a mental disease if you are unhappy or not functioning.
Before you start your stay with us, we would like to state some basic rules of thumb, the better for your peace of mind and ours. We likes us some open-mindedness, yup.
- You have a formal diagnosis. Congratulations! You are still just as real and "legit" as those that don't.
- You have never seen a shrink in your life. Congratulations! You are still just as real and crazy to outsiders as those that have.
- You are trauma-based. Congratulations! That doesn't mean you can't be real or functional.
- You are natural. Congratulations! That doesn't mean you can't be real or dysfunctional.
- You are a walk-in. Congratulations! You are as real as any other voice in someone's head.
- You are a soulbond. Congratulations! Same as above.
- You are insourced. Congratulations! You're just as cool as outsourced.
- You are outsourced. Congratulations! You're just as cool as insourced.
- You are an imaginary friend. Congratulations! Your name is not always derogatory!
- You are an alter. Congratulations! Same as above.
- You are an otherkin/fairy princess/god of war. Congratulations! You are just as real and legit as anyone else in this insane asylum. (Sighing in relief is okay.)
- You are human and average. Congratulations! Don't take out your inferiority complex on the otherkin/fairy princesses/gods of war; they have feelings too.
- You are a combat guru who's defeated a million Nazis in the battle of Gallipoli. Congratulations! This does not make you the best fighter in the comm. In fact, I'd like to introduce you to this guy who soulbonded Galactus. Make fun of his goofy hat. Go on, do it.
- You are pro-integration. Congratulations! You have a right to this belief; do not force it on others.
- You are anti-integration. Congratulations! You have a right to this belief; do not force it on others.
- You have two planets each with a population of over a billion in your head. Congratulations! This doesn't make you cooler than the ones with low inner populations.
- You are sharing your head with one person. Congratulations! This doesn't make you cooler than the gateway systems.
- You get new members all the time. Congratulations! This doesn't make you crazy or cool.
- You haven't gotten any new members in years; you might even be on your own for the moment. Congratulations! This doesn't make you sane or not cool anymore.
Remember, this is not a contest to see who is the most "real," "sane," or "kickass." By mainstream opinion, you are now mentally ill. You are very lucky to have a group of people who will accept you; you are in no condition to snark at them.
We hope you have a nice time with us!
--The Committee of Soulbonders, Multiples, Plurals, Medians, and Mental Real Estate Agents
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chipper
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